Posted in Fundamentals

Here’s to Your Health…Green Jell-O Every Five Years!

Green Jell-O
Green Jell-O

There are two things about getting older that ring true with every year. The first is that time really does fly by, and the second is that taking care of one’s health is crucial.

I had my annual physical last month and came through it with no red flags or warning signs. So far God has seen fit to bless me with good health and, for that, I’m extremely grateful.  In the process of completing the physical my doctor reminded me that it was time for another colonoscopy.

“Surely not” I said.  “It’s been five years since the last one? Check that again…please.”

He assured me that his records were correct and after thinking about it, I knew he was right.  My last colonoscopy was in 2011.  It was the day after a massive hail and rainstorm in our city and a tree had fallen across our driveway preventing me from getting my car out. After going through what one has to endure to prepare for this procedure, I was not going to reschedule no matter what.  So, I walked up to our neighbor’s house, borrowed his car and kept moving. That day is such a vivid memory that it probably explains why I doubted that five years had passed.

My family physician scheduled the procedure for me and the next day I received a call from the office of the physician who would be attending to me. This person gave me some instructions on when to arrive and what (or what not) to eat and drink the day before, then ordered a prescription that I would pick up from the drug store.

As most people over age fifty know, there really is nothing to dread about a colonoscopy. Other than a small needle stuck in a vein for an IV, it’s pretty painless.  For most of the time, the patient is asleep…no big deal.

As for the preparation, that’s another matter entirely.

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Liquid diet

The day before the procedure is an all-liquid day.  No solid food. No red or purple drinks.  For someone like me, who LOVES to eat, this is a supreme hardship. I finally convinced myself that I could handle it for one day and paid a visit to the local Kroger. The objective was to assemble a collection of liquids that might actually taste good enough to get me through an entire day. Here’s a picture of a few of the things I came up with.

In addition to the broths, I picked up a box of Lime Jell-O.  It has been five years since I made Lime Jell-O…same reason as this year. It came out well.  I have posted a picture of a plateful that accompanied my beef broth lunch. This meal was repeated for dinner except that chicken broth was a substitute for beef. I floated through this by telling myself that there was a BIG hamburger and platter of fries in my future.

Lunch
Lunch
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Phase two

After dinner it was time for phase two.

Phase two consists of drinking 16 ounces of a liquid and two 16 ounce cups of water within the period of an hour. I don’t care what anybody says, this is not fun. The liquid prep tastes like stale, semi-sweet lemon juice that is thicker than cough syrup. I placed the bottles in the bathroom and stared at them for about five minutes before I opened them. Once the bottle was opened I poured the contents in the cup that came with the prescription and slammed it down. Just as quickly, I filled the cup with water and slammed it down as well.  I had an hour to drink the second cup of water, but I wanted to get this over, so I only waited about ten minutes and consumed the second cup in one draught. Done…now the wait begins.   

The instructions that came with the prep mixture explained that the quality of a colonoscopy requires a clean colon. OK…I’m working on it. It took about two hours for the beef broth, chicken broth and Jell-O to head south. 

Next comes phase three, the tough phase.

Alarm set for 2:00 am
Alarm set for 2:00 am

I was instructed to repeat phase two beginning at 2:00 am the following morning. The alarm was set, and when it went off I knew that I was through sleeping for the night. I swallowed everything down and went to the man cave to watch a television show on my DVR that I had saved for occasions like this.  The television show was a three hour documentary on the D-Day invasion of Normandy.  Watching brave men face Nazi gunfire while attacking Omaha Beach helped reassure me that, while colonoscopy prep is bad, things could be worse.  March on.

Parkwest Hospital
Parkwest Hospital

Helen (adorable wife) drove me to the hospital and we arrived at exactly 8:00 am as instructed. Registration was completed quickly and a hospital volunteer named Andy escorted me to the waiting room where I was met by a very pleasant nurse.  She gave me a gown and a pair of surgical socks and left as I changed clothes.

I was visited next by the anesthesiologist. He was equally pleasant and seemed very young, but at my age, everybody who is still working seems young to me. We had a nice conversation and went through a list of routine questions. When he wrapped up, the nice nurse came back to insert the port for the IV. This was the only uncomfortable part of the entire morning, but I’m such a wimp when it comes to needles. I asked her if she had ever done this before. She smiled broadly before she demonstrated her skills and inserted the needle. I concluded that this was not her first rodeo.

After that, I was placed on a hospital bed, covered with a warm sheet and waited to be rolled into the room where I would receive the scope.  While waiting, I heard a female voice calling my name.  This person was lying on the bed immediately behind me and I couldn’t see her face.  When I asked her to tell me who she was, I learned that it was one of my friends who having the same procedure.  She was waiting to be rolled into the room next to mine.  I told her we had to stop meeting like this.

Once I was in the room, I was greeted by several nurses who couldn’t have been more accommodating and comforting.  These people were great. The doctor also came in.  It had been five years since I had seen him.  He said it was good to see me again, but I’m not sure if he really remembered me. Nevertheless, he was good to spend some time with me before the anesthesia hit. It hit quickly…lights out.

Patient in recovery
Patient in recovery

The next thing I knew, it was about forty minutes later and I was coming to in a recovery room.  Another nurse, just as pleasant and professional as the others, was making sure I was in good shape.  She let me know that I passed the test with flying colors, but that the doctor would be in to go over the results of the procedure. I asked for a cheeseburger. She gave me a Sprite.

The doctor told me that he found nothing but a clean colon.  He also told me that I didn’t need to come back for another round of this for ten years. That was the best news of the day.  We chatted for a few more minutes.  I asked him if he would be doing the next procedure ten years from now.  He assured me he had other plans.

I dressed and was escorted to a wheelchair and rolled out to the discharge area and waited for Helen to bring the car around.

Patient discharge area
Patient discharge area

Next stop, Waffle House!  Order up one All-Star Special…hold the Jell-O!

Time to be Easin’ Along!Print

Posted in Fun

Farmer’s Market – And a Big Splash of Good Luck

Trip and Raylin and the big splash
Trip and Raylin and the big splash

It’s been one of those weeks. I had to prepare for some meetings at the church. Helen (adorable wife) had been in Charleston with the grandchildren and left me with all the housework (just kidding). Other than that there wasn’t a lot happening and I needed some activity to report to the thousands of Easin’ Along readers eagerly anticipating this week’s post.

On Wednesday there was a report that a movie that is currently being filmed in Knoxville was planning to film a few scenes in Market Square downtown. The movie is titled “Dog Years” and stars Burt Reynolds, Ariel Winter, and Chevy Chase. As anyone could imagine our Scruffy Little City is all atwitter about this, so I thought I would drift up to Market Square to see if I could spot a few stars.

As a side note, there was a casting call for this movie several weeks ago and anyone interested in being an extra was invited to come to a shopping mall on a Sunday afternoon and apply. Well, I couldn’t resist an opportunity for my big show biz break so I went.  I was certain that they would pick me out of the crowd as a perfect stand-in for Burt.  The line was three hours long. When I got to the end of the line, the production crew took my picture and my phone number. They smiled and said “Don’t call us. We’ll call you.”  They must have lost my number.

Farmers Market
Farmers Market

Back at Market Square, the movie crew had moved on and the stars were somewhere else doing star stuff. I was disappointed to be sure, but I was also hit with a blast of blogger’s good luck. Today was the day for the Farmer’s Market on Market Square and the vendors were setting up for a big day.  It was a little early, but I thought I would hang around and see what would be in the offing. That decision produced a lot of fun.

Coneflowers at Market
Coneflowers at Market

There are three basic types of vendors at the Market. There are the produce farmers who bring in the fruits of their labor from the farms in the area. There are vendors who bring in food products to sell like baked goods, honey, sauces, and salsa are a few examples. Then there are the retail vendors (jewelry, clothing, art) who always have interesting wares. Each vendor has a space that is approximately 10’ by 10’ or multiples of that as one bakery there did on this day.

Vendors setting up
Vendors setting up

It was a bit early so I walked through the middle of the market to see what looked interesting.  I made a note of the large cookies being offered by one of the bakeries, and some great looking bread by another. I also noticed some beautiful beets and onions on display by a vegetable farmer. Later, when I looked at the picture taken I noticed that “beets” was misspelled on his sign. Oh well, bloggers need to spell beets not farmers, and I can assure this farmer that growing them pays better.

Beets and Onions
Beets and Onions

I took a seat at an iron picnic table at one end of the market and waited for the crowd to gather. A couple of street musicians that went by the name “Outlaw Ritual” were warming up nearby. The tip jar was empty, but the music was good. The tall tattooed lady playing the bass was really getting into her art. I gave her the name Tallulah…

Tallulah
Tallulah

My seat gave me a front row view of all the action going on at the fountain between Tallulah and me. Things were slow at first, but not long after I sat down, two little boys walked cautiously up to the fountain. Their Mom was standing to the side in rapt attention and very quickly, with no prompting; one of the boys ran headlong through the fountain – clothes and all. His brother followed. It was such a joy.  I took pictures as quickly as I could focus the camera and one of them is featured at the top of this post. The Mom was good enough to give me the boy’s names so, to Trip and Raylin, thanks for the show…I loved every minute.

By now the office workers and downtown residents were filling the market so I decided to walk through the crowd to see what was selling. Tallulah and her Outlaw were being splashed by a couple of energetic youngsters the fountain. They decided to go make music somewhere else.

I walked slowly back toward the other end of the market. Cookies seemed to be selling well and I decided that I better dive in before they were all gone.  I bought two large chocolate chip and two chewy ginger cookies. The ginger cookies smelled great and I couldn’t resist.  I got Bob the Baker to pose for the camera. He was kind enough to permit me, but he was being swamped.

Bob the Baker

 

 

 

Dogs aren’t allowed in the market unless they are marked as service animals or are small enough to be carried by their owners. Several service animals were around and well behaved but, there was one small Pomeranian that captivated everyone. I got his young owner to calm “Foxy” long enough to have his picture taken. It seemed that Foxy would have preferred an air-conditioned kennel over the hubbub, but his owner wasn’t ready to forgo the attention.

Foxy

I arrived at the other end of the market. Tallulah and company had set up there and brought in another Outlaw to play the fiddle. Casting a quick glance at the tip jar, I determined that it would be a while before they took a lunch break.

Tallulah and her Outlaws
Tallulah and her Outlaws

The crowd was getting large and I wanted to make one more pass before heading down to the Tourist Bureau and the WDVX Blue Plate Special (featured in an earlier post). Passing by the bread vendor, I was eager to learn about a variety named German Lager Bread. I asked the pretty lady about it and she explained that it was a combination of wheat and rye which gave it a little firmer texture than sandwich bread. She spoke with a European accent that sounded German though I couldn’t be sure. However, I was sure that she knew how to bake bread and picked up a loaf. She was a little reluctant to have her picture taken, but in the end she was a good sport.  The bread was delicious.

German Lager Bread
German Lager Bread

Back at the fountain, the kids in bathing suits had taken over and were having a grand time, and I was sweating enough to consider joining them, but common sense prevailed.  Besides, I wasn’t wearing my best boxers on this day.

A Full Fountain
A Full Fountain

On either side of the Square the pubs, cafes, taverns, and craft breweries were opening (if anyone knows the difference, please tell me in the comments section below) and beer and burgers were being consumed en masse. I love a good brew, but never before five o’clock and that was still five hours away. Nevertheless, I noticed at least one rather large gentleman who may be on a schedule different from mine. I grabbed a quick snap of his T-shirt. You can be the judge.

Sotally Tober
Sotally Tober

 

 

It was time to go.  I hustled down to the Blue Plate Special in time to catch the second act and what a treat it was.  Normally, the Blue Plate Special features what is called “roots” music, meaning the music that is so prevalent in our area…country, folk, bluegrass, and southern gospel. On this day we would be treated to a group named the Anderson String Quartet who would open with a classical piece by Haydn. It was beautiful. The group consisted of the Anderson Family.  There was Mom (Lisa) who played violin. Mom was joined by violinists Lydia 15, Garren 14, and cellist Anna 11.  Their music was outstanding and I captured a short video which I posted on the Easin’ Along Facebook page. Please take a minute and check it out.

Anderson String Quartet
Anderson String Quartet

Well, I didn’t get to meet Burt or Chevy, but hopefully they put on some dark glasses and came through the crowd at the Market. If so, their day would end up being as lucky as mine was.

I’ll be Easin’ Along.Print

The End
The End
Posted in Fundamentals

Vacation Bible School Hosts Visiting Angels

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Time was short for blogging this week.  There was a lot of busy activity for this busy retiree, and most of it was taken up by a pair of visiting angels.

The angels I’m referring to are two of my precious granddaughters named Bennett (5) and Cason (4).  I posted an article about them a few weeks back when we had a very active weekend with them in Charleston, SC where they live.  This week they came to visit us.  Just us – no parents came to accompany them.

Cute grandmother and Bible School Volunteer
Cute grandmother and Bible School Volunteer

Helen (adorable wife and cute grandmother) had invited the girls to come and attend Vacation Bible School at our church while they were here. Last Sunday she jumped in her car and drove to meet the girls and their other grandmother (affectionately known as “CeCe”) in Spartanburg, SC for a car seat and kid swap. From what was reported to me, picking up the girls was a heckuva lot easier than swapping out the car seats, but ultimately they got the job done and made the trip back to Knoxville without any issues. Their grandfather was all smiles when they arrived.

The rest of the week was pure joy.  Meltdowns were limited to only one very short episode on Tuesday night, but it lasted only about thirty minutes and was soon forgotten. 

Helen had bought two small wooden card filing boxes which the girls painted with their own designs and then went on a search of the house and yard for “treasures” to put in them. The treasures were many and varied and included bugs, twigs, rocks, and flowers.  Treasure hunting was a big hit and kept them occupied while dinner was being prepared.

Bennett at Bible School with new friends
Bennett at Bible School with new friends

On Monday morning they were loaded up and were off to Bible School to learn about Jesus and meet new friends. Their grandmother had volunteered to be a staff person in order for them to have at least one familiar face in the crowd. Apparently they had a good time because they were up and ready to go again on Tuesday morning. A breakfast prepared by their grandfather of grits, grapes, and grilled doughnuts helped. A second doughnut was requested and served.

The rest of the week was more of the same with a lot of time in the pool, plus an evening with some older cousins thrown in the mix. They left by around noon on Friday.  No, there wasn’t much time for blogging, but it’s not often that Angels come for a visit.

Enjoy the pictures. Big Daddy (that’s me) will be Easin’ Along… I miss them already.

Cason in costume
Cason in costume

Print

Bennett is ready for the next song
Bennett is ready for the next song
Cason gets some one on one time
Cason gets some one on one time
Story time
Story time
See you next year!
See you next year!